Should I ?

There is this feeling 

I want to get rid away with 

I need to tell you 

a lot of things 

but I keep quiet 

You are reading my silence 

but I don't know how far

you understand it right 

I feel the need

to put what all I can 

in words

but I never want 

you to read them 

I prefer to suffer 

and that's alright 

Being too expressive 

I wonder how come

you keep everything inside 

and continue to pretend

as if all this is normal

while inside you still fight 

Or is this really normal ?

Does every story has an end like this ?

I have let you free

but still somewhere 

I hold you tight 

I have stopped blaming 

I have stopped expecting 

but still when I think 

I can't help crying 

Have I really freed you from my clutches ?

Wont I ever feel again your touch ?

I let the distance build tall walls

where I jump in again and again 

and fall 

I prefer getting hurt 

and push you more far

some corner of me

wants you back

but I will never let you near 

closed chapters wouldn't be read back 

At times I can't help 

and still tell you my helplessness 

knowing nothing can be done 

you can't be the one 

but old habits die too hard 

and the more I speak to you 

the more I fall apart 

This cycle will go on 

but just for sometime 

and a moment will come

when you can't wont be able to find 

a part of your heart 

which I will take away 

far away
from where
never shall I return

PS : This poem was written for some one in particular ( I know you are reading this, and yes, its you ), but as words begin to flow, images of few persons flashed in my mind. ( which of course, they aren't aware of)