Words for my blog : "Do not read them"

My world is dark

just like skin of my blog 

Some words visible 

others diluted in black 

I wish to go away 

far

miles away 

but you are inside 

how do I throw you out?

Words

you console me 

Words

you break me 

the more I run away 

 closer you call me 

Are you the answer 

to all that's jumbled 

or is it you 

who made my dreams crumble 

You bestowed me 

many a wonderful memories 

you are a part 

of my present's tragedy 

 smiles or tears 

for which shall I be grateful ?

Love, smile, friendship 

you gifted 

Left me with more emptiness

as they parted 

I wish I could sum up 

and let out all that's in me 

but nothing in me or my life 

is interesting 

of what I imagined 

and what have I turned 

In my own fire of passion 

let my fingers burned 

I had made two promises 

both of which I intend to keep 

one was to always be with you 

no matter how life turns out 

the other was to keep distance from you 

no matter how much I am hurt 

I am standing at a point 

where I keep just falling 

though I am being stronger

my knees are going weak

I look at past and smile

I look at present I still smile

but in between these smiles

some tears I hide 

Maybe thats how life is 

Maybe thats the reality

of any relationship 

when all breaks down 

hope peeps in with smile 

and crush the heart

thats already fragile 

Can you understand 

what I am blabbering ?

or you too will desert me 

as I am too complicating ?

Will you tell all those 

to whom my heart belongs

will they sing when I am dead 

those lines of song ?

those words and gestures of love 

will still make me smile 

from above 

but for that there are years to go

as I dont intend to die soon 

for, I will have more time 

to write more words 

and this shall only remain 

my only proof of love 

of all that I wished and 

dreamt in my dreams