This post was due on Sunday :P
I was just clueless what to write, but now I know what I should. But before I begin, there is someone I need to thank to. The one who has been with me, past one month, the one who called me 'Bete', for which I am still smiling while typing this ( hope the colleagues dont think I have gone nuts :P), the one whom I have shared some instances which I hadn't revealed to anybody yet ( and had no intention to share except to the man I would share my life with ), one who understood and at times advised like a typical grown up, and said few words thats gonna be etched in my heart forever. ( I know you are reading this, and yeah its you )If I am back as adg, its because of him, and he isn't even aware of it (He never mentioned, rather talked about it). So dear X, thank you and *hugs*.
So I am still wondering what to write on, although I have thought about it 1000 times. I had no intention of coming back, but now that I am here, so lets see where it leads to.
2012 hadn't been a good start at all. Rather it began with an ending, of many chapters and doors. It had been revisiting and reliving moments of past. It had been stuffing myself with all foods ( I literally eat double the quantity of food I used to, and thats quiet quiet bad. Needless to say, I have put on kilos :( ). I had broken all contacts, and was so much irritated that I had decided to discontinue the use of mobile, as it has no use now. Two times I broke down in office and was on verge of quitting the job ( and now I have begun to hate, not dislike, yes, hate my boss )I had lost trust on relationships. Yesterday, someone re-kindled it. I had expected two persons to wish me on my birthday, was very disappointed when they didn't. Jiju had been a real help two times, despite having crucial times, wouldn't forget that, ever. There were few things I had wanted to talk to my bro( and thankfully, it was all about him and his life ), I couldn't. Don't think can ever too. Other stuffs, a lot many little ones, have irritated me highest. Overall a time I never anticipated even in worst of my dreams, and yet I survived ( how ? thats another unanswered question )
There are still lot many things I have to face, as all this while it had just been a beginning. There is one question thats currently running in my mind. To settle down or go ahead, sadly both of which I cant decide on my own ( for obvious reasons )
Apart from X, now coming back as Adg helped. I had been on 2 other platforms, both of which turned me more restless. Merely logging in here, gave me hope, and smile. This is where my heart belongs to. And I am beginning to hear its voices, although at times the mere thought of it getting hurt, still scares me. Hopefully, old times comes back. I feel they would, but it would come with some heavy pain that I guess would be carried along, till I touch the grave. Still ..
Welcome back Aarti ... as adg :)
I was just clueless what to write, but now I know what I should. But before I begin, there is someone I need to thank to. The one who has been with me, past one month, the one who called me 'Bete', for which I am still smiling while typing this ( hope the colleagues dont think I have gone nuts :P), the one whom I have shared some instances which I hadn't revealed to anybody yet ( and had no intention to share except to the man I would share my life with ), one who understood and at times advised like a typical grown up, and said few words thats gonna be etched in my heart forever. ( I know you are reading this, and yeah its you )If I am back as adg, its because of him, and he isn't even aware of it (He never mentioned, rather talked about it). So dear X, thank you and *hugs*.
So I am still wondering what to write on, although I have thought about it 1000 times. I had no intention of coming back, but now that I am here, so lets see where it leads to.
2012 hadn't been a good start at all. Rather it began with an ending, of many chapters and doors. It had been revisiting and reliving moments of past. It had been stuffing myself with all foods ( I literally eat double the quantity of food I used to, and thats quiet quiet bad. Needless to say, I have put on kilos :( ). I had broken all contacts, and was so much irritated that I had decided to discontinue the use of mobile, as it has no use now. Two times I broke down in office and was on verge of quitting the job ( and now I have begun to hate, not dislike, yes, hate my boss )I had lost trust on relationships. Yesterday, someone re-kindled it. I had expected two persons to wish me on my birthday, was very disappointed when they didn't. Jiju had been a real help two times, despite having crucial times, wouldn't forget that, ever. There were few things I had wanted to talk to my bro( and thankfully, it was all about him and his life ), I couldn't. Don't think can ever too. Other stuffs, a lot many little ones, have irritated me highest. Overall a time I never anticipated even in worst of my dreams, and yet I survived ( how ? thats another unanswered question )
There are still lot many things I have to face, as all this while it had just been a beginning. There is one question thats currently running in my mind. To settle down or go ahead, sadly both of which I cant decide on my own ( for obvious reasons )
Apart from X, now coming back as Adg helped. I had been on 2 other platforms, both of which turned me more restless. Merely logging in here, gave me hope, and smile. This is where my heart belongs to. And I am beginning to hear its voices, although at times the mere thought of it getting hurt, still scares me. Hopefully, old times comes back. I feel they would, but it would come with some heavy pain that I guess would be carried along, till I touch the grave. Still ..
Welcome back Aarti ... as adg :)
from a fellow Aquarian, may I just say this much... am going through a hell I never expected to see in my life either.. for the mistake of trusting blindly, have watched my whole family destroyed by people who are too shameless to care.. I too have been in this situation.. I still am and I too dont know how many more days I can carry on like this.. smiling to those who dont know whats going . But we keep going on because we cant let those who hurt us win... THIS TOO SHALL PASS..
ReplyDeleteI cant promise you a happier ending just as I cant promise you I'll be here a month from now... but we gotta keep believing things will turn around.
Sincerely,Feel free to mail me if you wish..